Home Lyrics: A Book of Poems

ICE PALACE. ICE PALACE. O palace of marvellous beauty and light, Like a shrine of enchantment thou art to the sight, As sparkling with pride 'neath the sun's fond caress, Thou blushest with love's conscious joyful excess. Ten thousand bright jewels, from Neptune's realm won, Compose thy weird structure, where daily the sun And nightly the Moon in turn sparklingly play Through each lunar ripple and bright solar ray. Like some ancient temple upreared to the sun, As chaste as a bride—and as pure as a nun, Result of stern winter's imperious commands, Fitting tribute to it in these northern lands. Thy empire, O ice king, is stern and severe, But it has rare pleasures which all hold most dear. We, our winter pastimes to greet thee convoke, And the goddess of health with thee daily invoke. In gleeful assemblage we now celebrate Thy reign, through tobogganing, snow-shoes, and skate, In sliding along to the sleigh-bells' blithe sound, O'er rivers, and meadows, and snow-mantled ground. Then hurrah for the Palace, the ice king, the snow; Around them let mirth and hilarity flow, Hurrah for our Governor, country, and main, And God bless our loved Queen, and long may she reign. THE FABLE OF THE SPHYNX Facts gathered from a lecture by George Chainey, of Boston, U.S. Oh! the image and the fable of the Sphynx! What lessons do they teach, What sermons do they preach Of the riddle and the mystery of life! 'Tis a union of brute force and love sublime. A female face and head To a lioness form are wed, Embodying strength and purity divine. The lioness, a symbol of wild might; The peerless head and face, And bust of female grace, Are types of pure affection and delight. In each one lies this dual element: Leonine cruelty, That well might master be, If not o'er-ruled by strict fidelity. And the all-powerful conquering light of love, Which, blessing those who give No less than who receive, Makes bliss on earth, as God's laws clearly prove. In crowning thus the Sphynx with love's sweet worth, We have for us the old, Sweet gospel ever told That love in peerless might should rule the world. Shall then our path o'er life's uncertain way Be led by a true heart, Acting pure love's kind part, Or by fierce guidance of a beast of prey? To what heroic heights mortals may climb, Humanity to serve, With loving heart and nerve, Are seen in Buddha, and in Florence Nightingale. And to what depths of leonine lust and crime A cruel man may go, Scattering fear, ruin, woe, Witness fierce Nero and Caligula! In each these possible heights and depths betide, All, then, may freely choose, None can the choice refuse, Between the higher and the lower guide. Where selfishness and unchecked passions stray As ruling motives sole, To reach a tinselled goal, There crouches the ferocious beast of prey. Shall life to us be crowned with blessings sure, As noblest woman's life, Harmonious 'mid all strife, Or blurred with bestial appetites impure? Surely the answer should be prompt and plain, That we, at any cost, Will not be so far lost As to permit the beast o'er love to reign. The purport of the dual female form, Shrines the grand truth, that Might Should bravely nourish Right, Life's checkered pathway sweetly to adorn. 'Tis said the Sphynx in ancient Afric' stood Upon the great highway, Beckoning all to stay, Who passed, to guess life's riddle if they could, Which if they failed in, she devoured them there, As she believed that they Who would not learn life's way, Were not entitled its best joys to share. But Oedipus, a wiser man than most Passing, the riddle guessed, That gave the Sphynx sweet rest, And forthwith she descended from her post. Knowing her secret, once devined, would be Learned by all thinkers, then Proclaimed by them to men, Her mission o'er, she vanished 'neath the sea. The axiom of "Man, know thyself" is worth The pains it costs to learn, E'en through long labours stern, Since 'tis the key that opes rich joys on earth. Pure knowledge entereth through struggles fierce, And only to the few Who sternly seek the true, Is given to solve the mystery of the Sphynx. UP, SISTERS, MORN IS BREAKING. Up, sisters! morn is breaking Over the mountains grey, As, borne on silvered pinions, She ushers in the day. She comes, and at her bidding The empress of the night, And starry hosts of heaven, Veil their supernal light. Scarce has their empire ended, O'er the awakening earth, When morning, fresh and joyous, With dewdrops clad comes forth. And now the great sun's chariot, Led by the rosy hours, Sweeps through the heavens proudly, And o'er fond nature towers. The grand, majestic sun-god, Pavilioned is on high, And throned in golden splendour He reigns o'er earth and sky. Dispersing gloom and sadness, Giving to all new birth, Dispensing light and gladness, O'er the rejoicing earth. Up, then, fair sisters, early His call from sleep obey, His first sweet healthful teachings Will sanctify the day. Inhale his breath delicious, Its freshness health bestows; It tints the cheeks with colours Of Persia's lovely rose. Up, then, at nature's bidding, Over the hills away, With freshened pulses glowing, To hail the King of Day. OH! I LOVE THE FREE AIR OF THE GRAND MOUNTAIN HEIGHT. Oh! I love the free air of the grand mountain height, In its freshness new vigour I find, It makes life's warm pulses throb high with delight, And stimulates body and mind. Its freedom inspires happy thought and desire, And the heart cannot fail to rejoice, As it makes the glad spirit receptive and quick To translate nature's eloquent voice. The sun-illumed firmament royally decked In pearly-tinged cloudlets of grey, Framed in exquisite clearness of deep tender blue, Fit throne for the Monarch of day! The city below lies in tranquil repose, Betraying no symptom of life, Ah! who could suppose at this distance that it Could be moved by dissension and strife! For it lies like an innocent, slumbering babe In the fold of a fond mother's breast, Between the fair river that kisses its feet, And the mountain in well-guarded rest. Then o'er the St. Lawrence and spanning its flow, Is Stephenson's triumph of skill, The grand bridge that laughs at a kingdom of ice, Which essays its stern ramparts to kill. And there like an emerald shrined in mid stream, Is St. Helen's bright islet of grace, Whose trees on the river's soft waters, delight To mirror their beautiful face. Then hurrah! for the mountain, the islet and bridge, And fair Montreal in their midst, With her clear sun-lit skies, that bring blessing and health, For few pleasanter cities exist. SUNRISE. Behold a miracle! the eastern sky Is whispering of a new creation nigh, As the fair dawn, with love-born joy and pride, Is gently opening day's grand portals wide. And see her rosy sisters tripping o'er Land, sea and mountain, lake and pebbly shore, Spreading th' entrancing tidings, near and far, Of the sun's advent in his golden car. And now through lustrous, glad, effulgent sheen, God's presence manifest to man is seen, As the majestic herald of his love Enthrones himself in matchless pomp above. And see, each rippling streamlet, mount and sod Obeys the mandate sent to it from God, To do the work to each by Heaven assigned, And in its due performance joy to find. With joy extatic all creation springs To glad new life each his anthem sings To the sun-god's Creator and upraise Their thrilling melodies of morning praise. Have ye e'er heard it echoed through the woods By birds and insects, mountain, streams and floods? Then, say, do man's best efforts match the song Of that harmonious, grateful, fervent throng? Renewed and glad the denizens of earth Obey the will of Him who calls them forth: Obedience makes all labour doubly sweet, And victory crowns the race with willing feet. The great sun never wavers from his line Of duty, in his gracious work sublime, His grand example perfect is, as when The Everlasting first created men. Symbol he is of the Great Father's power, Discoursing of it every passing hour, As calling to new life each germ and seed, He teaches earth to bring forth what men need. Streams, plants and insects, animals and earth Fulfil the role assigned to them at birth; Soft, gentle showers in cooling streams descend O'er verdant nature freshened joy to lend. Planets and stars obey the law divine, And in the pre-concerted plan combine. To do this bidding who in ether placed Their glorious orbs, and their grand circles traced. And think ye mortals that a God so great Could be unmindful of our mortal state? Ah, no, His grand unchanging laws apply To every living creature equally. There's not a denizen of earth, sky, sod, But bears some message to us from our God; The changeless laws of earth and firmament Are with deep truths and glorious lessons blent. The Great Eternal, ruler of the earth, Formed laws immutable for it at birth; Charging the realm of nature to befriend, The race for whom he formed it, to life's end. Grand proofs of His great love through it are found, By those who seek them, and rich joys abound For all who learn themselves, and the blest will Of the Creator lovingly fulfil. LOVE. Immortal love! what power is thine, To quicken and inspire! Fabled Prometheus well might dare To steal from heaven such fire. For 'tis a beacon light to guide To rapturous joy and peace, In this our present earthly home, And where all sorrows cease. Thy subtle fire electrical, In word, look, touch or kiss, Thrills through our being to invoke Responsive mutual bliss. Once moved by this Herculean power, What cannot mortals dare? Dangers else insurmountable, They with impressment share. Nothing on earth e'er nerved the arm Of knight or warrior bold, Like love of country, home, and heaven, In the brave days of old. No matter what man's form of words, Uttered or written down, If thy incisive, quickening spell, Does not their labour crown. And still thou reign'st supremely fair, In homes and battle fields, And his the arm victorious, Who thy grand armour wields. For they who with untiring zeal, Thy heart-fires ceaseless feed, Know their supernal warmth alone, Can meet man's highest need. But hearts e'en at the altar pledged Oft seek for love in vain, And hungering souls are doomed to starve, In freezing, cold disdain. Ah, why should mortals thus refuse To wield that grace divine, The chief of the blest three that heaven Gives to make life sublime. Some make a grave mistake, and seek Pity beyond their home; No friend or relative on earth Should counsel thus to roam. Others have cultivated minds, Are leaders in high art, Whilst in the little things of life, They take no kindly part. And yet if we investigate, It is these little things, Which make up human happiness, And lasting pleasure brings. And tastes objectionable oft, May on life's harp-strings jar, Producing irritation And much domestic war. The little word in the right place, The gentle touches, tones, The watchful loving sympathy, Which for so much atones, Are potent means which moral force Finds it the best to wield, For 'neath their mystic influence, Most hearts are bound to yield. Oh! for this love that conquers self, That binds us to our kind, That raises us to heaven and God, And purifies the mind! Ecstatic, sweet, rekindling power, Bright altar-fire sublime, Most precious gift to mortals given, That will outlive all time. The Rubicon is past when wed, And there is no retreat, Brave hearts should then accept the lot, Which none but they can meet. 'Tis always wise and safe to choose The heaven directed course Of ruling by all-conquering love, Than by the rod of force. Let home be made a sacred shrine, The best, most cherished spot, All others then will surely be Deserted and forgot. Each should uphold the other self, Before the world's keen sight; In thus upholding, each will keep His honour doubly bright. Like Graecian vestals who of yore Believed no duty higher Than tending night and day the flame Of the celestial fire, So let the broad world's denizens Foster this heart-fire bright, Which can their pilgrimage on earth Illume with glorious light. Domestic bliss, how beautiful! No idol is so fair. Set in the royalty of love, What can with it compare? Models of virtue are the homes Where this blest power holds sway, Where parents' words suffice to move Their offspring to obey. I know of such a happy home, Where love-signs rarely cease, And 'tis in very truth a throne Of harmony and peace. Nature's grand law of order there, Reigns with exactness sure The wheels of time glide smoothly through An atmosphere so pure. A group of healthy children six Their happy parents meet, For breakfast where food, simple, pure, Their hungry senses greet. Those budding blossoms of the home With joy-lit life appear, A daily morning glory they, So neat, clean, trim and dear. No wonder if the father's soul, Worships his darling bride, No wonder if his manly heart, Swells with delighted pride: For does she not make home a shrine, Where love and duty vie To honour, through her peerless love, Their holy marriage tie? He daily leaves his happy home, Next heaven the holiest place, Strengthened by her sweet words and kiss, For action in life's race. And she through all her daily rounds, Thinks foremost of the one, Who no less now than years ago, Her steadfast love has won. God bless them in their happy home! God bless their children nine! And may they through a peaceful life, Ever in love combine, To aid and cheer each other here, And when this life is past, Be reunited in that life Which will for ever last. Such homes of cheerful industry, Of order, thrift and care, Sweetly reflect on those whose minds, Their thrice blest precincts share. And since 'tis in the reach of most To make a home like this. What pity that e'en one refuse To win such priceless bliss. People there are who ceaseless moan, Their hard and cruel fate, Yet never see their course is wrong, Until alas! too late; To such the axiom I'd repeat, That 'tis God's righteous will, To help all those who help themselves, Life's duties to fulfil. 'Tis written upon every life With which we mingle here, And throughout nature's wide domain It also doth appear, That all unchanging are God's laws, Their consequences sure; That as we choose to sow we reap, Fruit holy or impure. Trace the effects of idleness, Extravagance and play, Of self-indulgence, vice and pride, And then reflecting say, It was not stern Nemesis' part, To punish each, as cause Of retribution to himself For breaking nature's laws. Let all, then, bravely conquer self, And use the means which heaven Has placed within the reach of each, Life's sorriest state to leaven. Industry, perseverance, thrift, Love, honesty and skill, Will aid the weakest in their work, Life's duties to fulfil. All-conquering, grand, unselfish love! Nought can withstand the power Of thy divine, o'ermastering force, To man heaven's richest dower. All know who own thy sovereign sway, No wealth can equal thine, Inspiring and constraining each, To sacrifice sublime! TO THE EMPRESS EUGENIE ON THE DEATH OF HER SON. If sympathy can soften a mourner's poignant woe, And stay the bitter tear drops that from her sad eyes flow, Then take it, honoured Empress, from the land of thy retreat, Where hearts in bitter anguish with thine now sorrowing beat. Alas, we cannot fathom the mysteries of doom, Which set its mark upon a life brilliant in youthful bloom, Full of undaunted ardour, and eager for that strife That robbed the sorrowing mother of his most precious life. Ah, who can help recalling, and who the fervour tell, Of his bright words on parting in that sad but brave farewell, With bounding heart hope-laden and holy ardour fraught, Scorning all fear and danger, as by thy wisdom taught. Think, mourner, of thy darling as safe within heaven's fold, Crowned with a victor's chaplet within the gates of gold, His young, bright, earnest spirit happy on yonder shore, Where you will be in God's own time united evermore. A crown of earthly splendour might have enwreathed his brow, But could that weigh 'gainst glory with which 'tis radiant now? Would'st thou exchange the latter for all earth's gaud and glare? No, sad one, thou would'st rather in God's time join him there. Far from all warring tumult, in peaceful joy above, Safe in the tender keeping of everlasting love; Think of him thus for ever in the dear Father's care, And say would'st thou recall him, earth's proudest throne to share? Only a few swift time-strokes to make up life's brief day, Only some few more pulse-beats till we, too, pass away; There in the bright hereafter with great exceeding joy, There, never to be parted, thou wilt rejoin thy boy. SCIENCE. Science! thou mirror of celestial type Wherein e'en mortals may discerning see, If they with steady perseverance seek, The will and purpose of Deity. By the effulgence of Thy affluent light Men learn the hidden mysteries of earth, Unlock the secrets of the starry heavens And solve the problem of each dewdrop's birth. Thou art the magic key that opens wide Sources of knowledge, beauty, wealth and grace, Which teach man how to help his brother man, And benefit and elevate the race. Beneath thy guidance men have found the stone Philosophers long sought but rarely found, Whose lesson is that the Great God helps those Who feel to help themselves and others bound. What blest results are following in thy train, To physical as well as mental wealth, Through sanitation, in its myriad forms, By which it now promotes the nation's health. Well regulated physical as mental work Opens rich sources of enjoyment sweet; And mind and body strengthened, thus delight New difficulties to withstand and greet. Few know how strengthening is resisting power, In mind and body as in physics too, And what accumulating force it lends To man his life work daily to renew. The richest happiness comes from within, From duties well accomplished blessings flow, And precious fruits of action, thought and deed That will not give rude switch grass place to grow. Thou teachest that a form to be a square Must have its lines of length, breadth, depth, exact, Without the least divergence right or left, And with its due proportions clear, compact. What helpful lessons might not this form teach, If testing thus the lines of motives, thought, Which make the sum of action square or false, Each would discern the application taught. When truth as the soul's standard is set up, Making the inner life exact and square, With love to God producing love, to all, What will not man for man and duty dare? True brotherhood consists in making each, As far as may be, just another self; The priceless sequence of such action would Exceed the greatest riches men call wealth. Then might the blest commandment, do to all As to ourselves we would that they should do, Flow as a natural sequence, and such act Would bring its own reward and comfort, too. For truest happiness is known to those Who learn to know themselves through struggles brave. Such conquerors steer serenely o'er the calm, Clear sea of life, as o'er its troubled wave. Knowing that the Great Father wills that man Should, through much strife and suffering win that prize, Whose precious fruits of knowledge wait for all Who use full well each moment as it flies. Then let us strive to form each thought, word, deed, On the exact, undeviating square, Seeking to learn and discipline ourselves, And win rewards which all who will may share. CHRISTMAS MORN. Dear, happy Christmas! once again We joy to welcome thee, With all thy glad surroundings, grouped For world-wide jubilee. We'll crown thy peace-illumined brow With holly burnished bright, Entwined with glowing crimson buds, And mystic berries white. Then the sly bough of mistletoe We must not, cannot miss, For, privileged beneath its shade, We hope for many a kiss. Kisses of joy from those we love, Kisses of pardon, too, That chase all anger from the heart, And feelings seared renew. E'en as the song of peace on earth Flows lovingly from heaven, Should men forgive their foes, as they Expect to be forgiven— Burying all painful bygones deep, Far out of thought and sight, Sweet peace possessing, reconciled, In new love-bonds unite. And round the merry Christmas board Pledges of good-will give, That they can, once a year, at least, Old grudges quite forgive. And let the poor, the blind, the maimed Be kindly feted, too; In blessing others all are bathed In blessings rich and new. Thus, peace-proclaiming, loving friend, Time-honoured Christmas dear, Thou wilt, indeed, have well fulfilled Thy love-fraught mission here. A VICTIM TO MODERN INVENTIONS. ( Founded on a tale which appeared in Chambers' Journal, 4th series, No. 630, Saturday, January 22nd, 1876, page 69.) Since quite a boy Hal Gradient had been Noted for ingenuity—between The hours when not on active duty he Immersed in some new scheme was sure to be; So, by the age of twenty-five he grew Absorbed in plans, constructive, rare and new. We both in engineering works were then, On contract work engaged in France, when He the gratifying news received, That some unknown rich relative had died, Leaving him sole executor and heir To an estate both lucrative and fair. Prior to leaving for his native land, He said to me, Now, Mark, my friend, you understand, I shall expect to see you at my home As soon as your engagement here is done; And such a home, my boy, as you shall see, You cannot well conceive what it may be, For I intend to exercise my skill, Its precincts with inventions new to fill, And have things so arranged that work and time Shall reap rich harvests in their course sublime. Time passed; my contract done, I hastened home, Unwilling longer from its joys to roam, When Harry, hearing that I had returned, To have me by him with impatience burned; So, to his pressing lines that I should pay A visit to his country home next day, I cordially assented, for I, too, Was anxious our prized friendship to renew. Descending at the station I espied The dear old boy, with dog-cart at his side, Waiting to welcome me with heart and hand, To all we prize most in our native land; For howsoe'er or wheresoe'er we roam, We find no joys like those of home, sweet home! We bowled along the pleasant country lanes, By wooded heights and blossom-covered plains. See! said he, there's my house among the trees, Sheltered, yet open to the southern breeze. In that beyond, with other two, you see, Whose grounds close round my own so pleasantly, Live valued friends of whom I never tire; With each abode a telegraphic wire Communicates, so, when we feel inclined For whist or billiards, after we have dined We telegraph to fix the time and place, And oft arrange a meet for hunt and chase, Which is convenient, as you soon will see, And makes us like one social family. Just then arriving at the gate hard by, I will descend and open it, said I; Sit still, said Harry, when without a word, The gate seemed opened of its own accord. Hallo, that's "open, Sesame," I said, How is it done? to which Hal answer made: Why, don't you see; I've placed across the path A narrow gutter like a shallow bath, And when we stop the wheels press on it, so It slightly sinks, and forces cranks to go, These then force back the gate until we've passed, Whilst others set it free and close it fast. Well, now that is convenient, I cried, Yes, and saves lodge and keeper, he replied. Arriving at the house, the groom we found And waitress at the door, for the clear sound From two electric wires pressed by the cart In passing through the gate, had sent a dart Of electricity that rang a bell, To man and maid of our approach to tell. Hal's sister met us in the entrance hall, A lady of a certain age, erect and tall, Whose bearing was, to say the least, severe, One not just suited hearts to win and cheer; She eyed me in a curious sort of way, And then, with haughty mien, she went away. I noticed as I hung up coat and hat, A sort of cage, and said to Hal, what's that? 'Tis my automaton machine, he said, For brushing thoroughly from heels to head; I will explain: a platform there below On which you step, makes wheels and levers go, In fact, your weight the motive power supplies, On which the action of the whole relies, Those arms with brushes then revolving wheel, And from your clothes the dust adroitly steal, Whilst overhead another like machine Is also placed your hat to smooth and clean; Observe it, like a hat box cleft in twain, With bristled, lever-working jaws that claim Your hat within their grasp, so for the nonce You've trowsers, coat and hat all brushed at once. A very curious contrivance; how I'd like to see it set in action now. That you shall do, said he, and stepping in Upon the little platform neat and trim, The numerous brushes vigorously spun Some fifteen times, and then their work was done. There, shouted Harry, what d'ye think of that? Jump in and try, but don't forget your hat, For if you do you'll bitterly repent, And have good reason, too, for discontent. No, not just now, some other day, said I, Feeling a bit too nervous then to try. Excuse me, then, a moment while I seek My sister, for to her I wish to speak. Hal had no sooner left, than as I stood Before the strange machine, I thought I would Venture to test it then when none were by To chaff if I should chance to bolt or cry, So, stepping boldly in, the brushes ran, And their appointed active work began, And that they did it well there is no doubt, But having rashly bent one elbow out, Its funny bone was rapped, which made me shout, Then, horrors! the hat brushes wheeled about, I had forgot my hat, so they instead Most unceremoniously seized my head! The horrid thing whirled round at frightful pace, Stripping, it seemed, all skin off nose and face. I tried to stoop, escape from it to find, But only got distracting blows behind, Soothing the part affected not the less; I felt abused, insulted, I confess. The hateful thing, however, stopped at last, And springing to the floor I cast Bewildered and distrustful glances round When, like an added insult, there I found Harry convulsed with laughter at my side, Which nettled my already wounded pride. My anger was extreme on rushing out With one loved whisker curled my ear about, The other brushed across my face; my hair All twisted in a vortex of despair; I felt unable to express my rage At his so vaunted but abusive cage. 'Tis an infernal, demon-formed machine, Shrieked I to Hal, as ever yet was seen, He only roared with laughter as he sat, Saying, 'twas so because you had no hat, You know I charged you to remember that. I tried to laugh but 'twas of little use After such diabolical abuse, But calming down at last I cheerful rose, Wishful, in private, to survey my nose, To see if any skin were left there now, And what the state of my disordered brow. So, hastening to my room with Hal, I found All there so cosily arranged around, That in my admiration I forgot The consequences of my ill-starred lot Why, what a jolly room, to him I said Yes, and you see that second little bed. If you are nervous, or should like me to, As when in France, I'll sleep in it by you. O no, in England I can have no fear, As in the old times when you were not near. All right, old boy, but stay, before I go I'll light the gas, and I must let you know 'Tis done by electricity, through aid Of batteries in the basement; I've wires laid All through the house—now see this knob I touch Causes two wires in contact swift to rush, Then an electro magnet turns the stop, At the same moment sparks from out them hop, The gas is thus ignited—'tis not all, You see along the ceiling, down that wall, On either side the gas jet placed, a bar. Each of a different metal, one has far More power than has the other to expand When hot, which makes it bend, you understand, In doing so it acts upon a rod And lever, under whose constraining nod A catch which holds the shutters is set free, And with a spring they close to instantly. The metal, as he touched it, heated grew, And, as by magic, shutters were closed to. 'Tis very cleverly arranged, I say, But here's a knob marked with the letter A; What is its use? This A stands for alarm, When pressed in case of fire or threatened harm, A large alarum placed above the roof, Soon to the neighbours gives convincing proof; We won't try that just now as its sound, would Undoubtedly alarm the neighbourhood. But see, in this recess with curtained way Is a self-acting shower-bath that you may Try in the morning if you're so inclined. There's just one more contrivance yet I find That I must show you; by your bed side stands A nest of speaking tubes; this one commands My bedroom, number two, my sister's, and The third, Jane's room; this last, you understand, Might be convenient should you e'er require, If ill, an early cup of tea, or fire. Is Jane the pretty housemaid? I reply, She is, you sly boy, but she's coy and shy. Harry, I thought you'd known me better to—— All right, old boy, I was but joking you. Harry now left. When dressed for dinner I Resolved tube numbered one at once to try, I blew the whistle, from the other end Hallo, was quickly answered by my friend. I'm waiting to go down, will you be long? I'm ready now, came mellowly along, And so we met upon the landing soon, And joined the ladies in the drawing-room. A charming little dinner o'er, and then The ladies left and we were chatting when A bell was rung; Hallo, that's Pool, Hal cried; What does he want, I wonder, quick replied His friend by numerous clicks. He wants to know If we will sup with him. Mark, will you go? I've no objection; click, click, click soon sent The answer to his friend, and off we went. On our return Hal showed me many more Of his inventions, of which he'd a store, Till my bewildered and distracted head Was fairly dazed, so I escaped to bed, But not, alas, to sleep; th' exciting day Had been too much for my poor nerves; I lay Tossing and restless, could not sleep at all, So thought I'd summon Harry to my call, As he'd suggested, and we had agreed That I should do in case of urgent need. I seized the tube, blew through it lustily. Well, soon was answered through it sleepily. I cannot get to sleep, I wish you'd come To me, or have me with you in your room; I'd rather of the two that you'd come here, As you proposed, in case of need or fear. As I proposed! you base, abandoned wretch, Repeat those words and I'll my brother fetch. Horror of horrors! the wrong tube I'd grasped, And to Miss Gradient had been talking fast. What should I do? I tried, but all in vain, Th' unlucky error meekly to explain. Dear madame, I assure you on my word, 'Twas a mistake, but no response was heard; 'Twas clear she'd hear no more I had to say, However I might for forgiveness pray, So, putting in the whistle, on the bed I once more settled my distracted head. The bare idea of my speaking so To that old lady was an awful blow; How could I meet her at the breakfast? how Sustain the anger of that rigid brow? At last I made a desperate resolve To wake up Hal, the mystery to solve, So, quickly seizing the next tube o'erhead, Oh! I have made a great mistake, I said, I wanted you to come and sleep by me, But, seizing the wrong tube, unluckily I asked Miss Gradient to come instead Of you; pray come to me at once, I said, Or I shall try to find you, quickly too; I'm dying something to explain to you. The answer almost drove me wild with pain, 'Twas in a quick, sharp, female voice again, But not Miss Gradient's evidently now, 'Twas Jane's, the pretty housemaid's: how— How dare you, Sir! I'd have you know, young man, That I'm an honest girl, and scorn your plan, And if you dare to come you can't get in, For cook has double locked the door within. My dear girl, I assure you, I commenced— I ain't your dear girl, then said Jane, incensed, 'Tis no use talking any more to-night, With curl papers I'll stop the plug up tight, And in the morning, to your cost, you'll see I will expose your conduct thoroughly. Another awful error—what a scrape I found myself within, and how escape? I threw myself once more upon the bed, Great drops of perspiration on my head, Feeling bewildered, destitute of hope, With such a series of mishaps to cope. If those fast bolted shutters had not been So firmly closed, I might have had a gleam Of the blest early dawn, but I will try, Thought I, to open them; then by and bye I'll dress and go to Harry to explain, Before he meets his sister or sees Jane. I felt my way then cautiously along, Quite nervous, lest I should again go wrong. The window was a bow one—on I passed, Still groping onward, till I cried at last, Ah! here it is, this is the curtain slide; I passed within, when—how shall I describe My woeful plight? I screamed and yelled with pain, My feelings to describe, alas! 'twere vain, In the self-acting shower bath I had stepped. And in a torrent its freed waters leapt On my distracted form, with deafening sound, Which sent me stunned and spinning to the ground In painful and undignified surprise; The curtains having deadened the wild cries, Wrung from me under such enforced surprise, No one had been aware of my sad plight. As dripping, shivering with the sudden fright, I drew my wet clothes off and felt my way For dry ones, longing for the light of day, As longs some sun-struck traveller, from whose sight A momentary shock obscures the light. The darkness so oppressive and intense Seemed round me an impenetrable fence, As well to physical as mental view, Deadening the intellect and reason too. I could not long the awful state endure, So making a great effort to secure A calmer mood, by sad experience taught, Why, what a fool I've been, at length I thought, To have forgotten like an arrant dunce I've but to press the knob to have at once The gas jet lit; so groping bit by bit, I reached it, pushed the knob, but no gas lit; Terrific noise above I heard instead, I'd set th' alarum crashing overhead! What should I do? the neighbourhood would be Aroused, and perhaps as terrified as me. I'd no idea how to stop the thing Which now distractingly began to ring. I'd rush to Harry; ah, he'd heard the crash, And to my room now rushed with hurried dash; Why, what on earth's the matter, quickly tell? Nothing but that abominable bell. I wished to light the gas, the wrong knob pushed; There, Harry said, I've stopped it, and off rushed To satisfy the neighbours who were now Ringing t' inquire th' occasion of the row. He soon returned, saying he'd telegraphed To tell of the mistake, and then he laughed, Lighted my gas, and quickly went to bed, As he, like me, was chilled from heels to head. Alas! my friend was gone ere I'd the power T' explain the contretemps of that sad hour. To get away was now my only thought, But then this all-important step was fraught With seen and unseen dangers everywhere, Suppose I met Miss Gradient on the stair, Or Jane—for this I candidly confess I did not the required aplomb possess. Besides I dreaded now to rouse the house; No, I would dress, then wait, still as a mouse, For early dawn, a note to Harry write, Which would my wronged position soon make right. Yes, I would go before the servants were, Or any of the family, astir. Consulting Bradshaw, then, I found a train Arranged to leave at six—could I but gain The station by that hour, how happy I Should be. I soon resolved to try. I dressed at once, my letter with sad heart Placed on the table, and prepared to start. Opening the door I crept out cautiously, With boots in hand down stairs quite noiselessly; Arriving in the hall I put them on, But found the front door locked and the key gone! Confound it! what on earth was I to do? I'd try the kitchen entrance to get through; Steering in that direction, on I went, To find some egress resolutely bent; Coming to baize-clad folding doors at length, I turned the handle, pushed with all my strength. Then, Murder! Thieves! and Fire! I shouted loud, For tightly clasped in writhing pain I bowed Within the thief trap, where I had been caught, Which Harry had explained, but I'd forgot; The sharp, excruciating agony, From the electric current, cruelly Vibrated through me from my head to feet, Urging the goaded blood to fever heat. At last the cruel knocks and shaking ceased, And from the horrid thing I got released; I dropped bewildered on a chair hard by, With tortured body and despairing cry, And then spied Harry shivering at my side, Asking how I came there, when I replied, Why, I was going off, I gasping said, I've been most miserable since I went to bed, This is the climax, I have suffered so That I am quite determined now to go. Nonsense, said Harry, come upstairs again, I'm sorry you've been put to so much pain, But I will soon make all things right, you'll see. No, in this house I'll never happy be; I'm much obliged for all your kind intent, But am on leaving resolutely bent, For what with handles, tubes, bells, wires and such, With pipes, coils, batteries, and knobs to push, I've almost lost my head, am racked with pain, And long my own snug lodgings to regain. Well, wait at least until the men arrive, When we can to the station quickly drive, And meanwhile Jane your breakfast shall prepare. No, no, I cannot wait for Jane, I then declare, Pray let me go, or I shall miss the train; Good-bye, in town we'll shortly meet again, I've left a note to tell the reason why I felt obliged to go; again, good-bye. I'd not gone far along the path before I ventured to look back again once more. Then walking at a less excited rate I just remembered that within the gate Electric wires were laid, so, turning round. And seeing Harry still upon the ground, Cried, is there any danger at the gate? Danger, what do you mean? at any rate You're sure there're no more wires or such like thing, No coils or batteries, no more bells to ring? Oh, nothing of the kind, you need not fear, But, Frank, said Hal, come back and reason hear. I shook my head and resolutely cried, No, thank you, for that moment I espied Jane opening shutters, so I quickly pushed Aside the gate, and out exulting rushed. I breathed more freely when once fairly through, And o'er the highway to the station flew. I caught the early train and reached my home, Almost determined nevermore to roam, For what I'd suffered on that single night, Was quite enough to make me die of fright; And as I sank upon my chair I said, Thank goodness, I've no wires above my head, For as to lighting gas I'd rather stir And light it with the humble lucifer; Encounter burglar with my own strong arm, In place of man traps to create alarm; Pull at the shower bath in a Christian way, And face to face with friends my visits pay, Than have electric wires take my commands, And do the honest work of willing hands.

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