WOULD YOU KNOW? Oh, gentlemen, listen, I pray; Though I own that my heart has been ranging, Of nature the laws I obey, For nature is constantly changing. The moon in her phases is found, The time and the wind and the weather, The months in succession come round, And you don't find two Mondays together. Consider the moral, I pray, Nor bring a young fellow to sorrow, Who loves this young lady to-day, And loves that young lady to-morrow. You cannot eat breakfast all day, Nor is it the act of a sinner, When breakfast is taken away To turn your attention to dinner; And it's not in the range of belief, That you could hold him as a glutton, Who, when he is tired of beef, Determines to tackle the mutton. But this I am ready to say, If it will diminish their sorrow, I'll marry this lady to-day, And I'll marry that lady to-morrow! WOULD YOU KNOW? Would you know the kind of maid Sets my heart a flame-a? Eyes must be downcast and staid, Cheeks must flush for shame-a! She may neither dance nor sing, But, demure in everything, Hang her head in modest way, With pouting lips that seem to say "Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die of shame-a." Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart a flame-a! When a maid is bold and gay, With a tongue goes clang-a, Flaunting it in brave array, Maiden may go hang-a! Sunflower gay and hollyhock Never shall my garden stock; Mine the blushing rose of May, With pouting lips that seem to say, "Oh, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, Though I die for shame-a!" Please you, that's the kind of maid Sets my heart a flame-a! THE MAGNET AND THE CHURN. A magnet hung in a hardware shop, And all around was a loving crop Of scissors and needles, nails and knives, Offering love for all their lives; But for iron the magnet felt no whim, Though he charmed iron, it charmed not him, From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, For he'd set his love on a Silver Churn! His most æsthetic, Very magnetic Fancy took this turn— "If I can wheedle A knife or needle, Why not a Silver Churn?" And Iron and Steel expressed surprise, The needles opened their well drilled eyes, The pen-knives felt "shut up," no doubt, The scissors declared themselves "cut out." The kettles they boiled with rage, 'tis said, While every nail went off its head, And hither and thither began to roam, Till a hammer came up—and drove it home, While this magnetic Peripatetic Lover he lived to learn, By no endeavor, Can Magnet ever Attract a Silver Churn! BRAID THE RAVEN HAIR. Braid the raven hair, Weave the supple tress, Deck the maiden fair In her loveliness; Paint the pretty face, Dye the coral lip. Emphasize the grace Of her ladyship! Art and nature, thus allied, Go to make a pretty bride! Sit with downcast eye, Let it brim with dew; Try if you can cry, We will do so, too. When you're summoned, start Like a frightened roe; Flutter, little heart, Color, come and go! Modesty at marriage tide Well becomes a pretty bride! IS LIFE A BOON? Is life a boon? If so? it must befal That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon. Though fourscore years he give, Yet one would pray to live Another moon! What kind of plaint have I, Who perish in July? I might have had to die, Perchance, in June! Is life a thorn? Then count it not a whit! Man is well done with it; Soon as he's born He should all means essay To put the plague away: And I, war-worn, Poor captured fugitive, My life most gladly give— I might have had to live Another morn! A MIRAGE. Were I thy bride, Then the whole world beside Were not too wide To hold my wealth of love— Were I thy bride! Upon thy breast My loving head would rest, As on her nest The tender turtle dove— Were I thy bride! This heart of mine Would be one heart with thine, And in that shrine Our happiness would dwell— Were I thy bride! And all day long Our lives should be a song: No grief, no wrong Should make my heart rebel— Were I thy bride! The melancholy flute, The melancholy lute, Were night owl's hoot To my low-whispered coo— Were I thy bride! The skylark's trill Were but discordance shrill To the soft thrill Of wooing as I'd woo— Were I thy bride! The rose's sigh Were as a carrion's cry To lullaby Such as I'd sing to thee, Were I thy bride! A feather's press Were leaden heaviness To my caress. But then, unhappily, I'm not thy bride! A MERRY MADRIGAL. Brightly dawns our wedding day; Joyous hour, we give thee greeting! Whither, whither art thou fleeting? Fickle moment, prithee stay! What though mortal joys be hollow? Pleasures come, if sorrows follow: Though the tocsin sound, ere long, Ding dong! Ding dong! Yet until the shadows fall Over one and over all, Sing a merry madrigal— Fal la! Let us dry the ready tear; Though the hours are surely creeping, Little need for woeful weeping, Till the sad sundown is near. All must sip the cup of sorrow— I to-day and thou to-morrow: This the close of every song— Ding dong! Ding dong! What, though solemn shadows fall, Sooner, later, over all? Sing a merry madrigal— Fal la! THE LOVE-SICK BOY. When first my old, old love I knew, My bosom welled with joy; My riches at her feet I threw; I was a love-sick boy! No terms seemed too extravagant Upon her to employ— I used to mope, and sigh, and pant, Just like a love-sick boy! But joy incessant palls the sense; And love, unchanged will cloy, And she became a bore intense Unto her love-sick boy! With fitful glimmer burnt my flame, And I grew cold and coy, At last, one morning, I became Another's love-sick boy! HENRY ALTEMUS' PUBLICATIONS. PHILADELPHIA. PA. STEPHEN. A SOLDIER OF THE CROSS , by Florence Morse Kingsley, author of "Titus, a Comrade of the Cross." "Since Ben-Hur no story has so vividly portrayed the times of Christ."— The Bookseller. Cloth, 12mo., 369 pages. $1.25. PAUL. 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It cannot fail to stimulate and cheer.— Spurgeon. 9 LIKE CHRIST . Thoughts on the Blessed Life of Conformity to the Son of God. By the Rev. Andrew Murray. A sequel to "Abide in Christ." "May be read with comfort an edification by all." 10 WITH CHRIST IN THE SCHOOL OF PRAYER , by the Rev. Andrew Murray. "The best work on prayer in the language." 11 HOLY IN CHRIST . Thoughts on the Calling of God's Children to be holy as He is Holy. By the Rev. Andrew Murray. "This sacred theme is treated Scripturally and robustly without spurious sentimentalism." 12 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST , by Thomas Hughes, author of "Tom Brown's School Days," etc. "Evidences of the sublimest courage and manliness in the boyhood, ministry, and in the last acts of Christ's life." 13 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN , by the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. Seven Addresses on common vices and their results. 14 THE PATHWAY OF SAFETY , by the Rt. Rev. Ashton Oxenden, D.D. 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Meyer, B.A. A powerful help towards sanctification. 20 THE MESSAGE OF PEACE , by the Rev. Richard W. Church, D.D. Eight excellent sermons on the advent of the Babe of Bethlehem and his influence and effect on the world. 21 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK , by the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. 22 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES , by the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. 23 THE CHANGED CROSS; AND OTHER RELIGIOUS POEMS . ALTEMUS' ETERNAL LIFE SERIES. Selections from the writings of well-known religious authors, beautifully printed and daintily bound with original designs in silver and ink. PRICE, 25 CENTS PER VOLUME. 1 ETERNAL LIFE , by Professor Henry Drummond. 2 LORD, TEACH US TO PRAY , by Rev. Andrew Murray. 3 GOD'S WORD AND GOD'S WORK , by Martin Luther. 4 FAITH , by Thomas Arnold. 5 THE CREATION STORY , by Honorable William E. Gladstone. 6 THE MESSAGE OF COMFORT , by Rt. Rev. Ashton Oxenden. 7 THE MESSAGE OF PEACE , by Rev. R.W. Church. 8 THE LORD'S PRAYER AND THE TEN COMMANDMENTS , by Dean Stanley. 9 THE MEMOIRS OF JESUS , by Rev. Robert F. Horton. 10 HYMNS OF PRAISE AND GLADNESS , by Elisabeth R. Scovil. 11 DIFFICULTIES , by Hannah Whitall Smith. 12 GAMBLERS AND GAMBLING , by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 13 HAVE FAITH IN GOD , by Rev. Andrew Murray. 14 TWELVE CAUSES OF DISHONESTY , by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 15 THE CHRIST IN WHOM CHRISTIANS BELIEVE , by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 16 IN MY NAME , by Rev. Andrew Murray. 17 SIX WARNINGS , by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 18 THE DUTY OF THE CHRISTIAN BUSINESSMAN , by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 19 POPULAR AMUSEMENTS , by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 20 TRUE LIBERTY , by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 21 INDUSTRY AND IDLENESS , by Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 22 THE BEAUTY OF A LIFE OF SERVICE , by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 23 THE SECOND COMING OF OUR LORD , by Rev. A.T. Pierson, D.D. 24 THOUGHT AND ACTION , by Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 25 THE HEAVENLY VISION , by Rev. F.B. Meyer. 26 MORNING STRENGTH , by Elisabeth R. Scovil. 27 FOR THE QUIET HOUR , by Edith V. Bradt. 28 EVENING COMFORT , by Elisabeth R. Scovil. 29 WORDS OF HELP FOR CHRISTIAN GIRLS , by Rev. F.B. Meyer. 30 HOW TO STUDY THE BIBLE , by Rev. Dwight L. Moody. 31 EXPECTATION CORNER , by E.S. Elliot. 32 JESSICA'S FIRST PRAYER , by Hesba Stratton. ALTEMUS BELLES-LETTRES SERIES. A collection of Essays and Addresses by eminent English and American Authors, beautifully printed and daintily bound, with original designs in silver. PRICE, 25 CENTS PER VOLUME. 1 INDEPENDENCE DAY , by Rev. Edward E. Hale. 2 THE SCHOLAR IN POLITICS , by Hon. Richard Olney. 3 THE YOUNG MAN IN BUSINESS , by Edward W. Bok. 4 THE YOUNG MAN AND THE CHURCH , by Edward W. Bok. 5 THE SPOILS SYSTEM , by Hon. 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B. Adams (Yale). 28 THE HIGHER EDUCATION AS A TRAINING FOR BUSINESS , by Prof. Harry Pratt Judson (University of Chicago). 29 MISS TOOSEY'S MISSION. 30 LADDIE. 31 J. COLE , by Emma Gellibrand. ALTEMUS' NEW ILLUSTRATED VADEMECUM SERIES. Masterpieces of English and American literature, Handy Volume Size, Large Type Editions. Each Volume Contains Illuminated Title Pages, and Portrait of Author and Numerous Engravings Full Cloth, ivory finish, ornamental inlaid sides and back, boxed, 40 Full White Vellum, full silver and monotint, boxed, 50 1 CRANFORD , by Mrs. Gaskell. 2 A WINDOW IN THRUMS , by J.M. Barrie. 3 RAB AND HIS FRIENDS, MARJORIE FLEMING, ETC. , by John Brown, M.D. 4 THE VICAR OF WAKEFIELD , by Oliver Goldsmith. 5 THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW , by Jerome K. Jerome. "A book for an idle holiday." 6 TALES FROM SHAKSPEARE , by Charles and Mary Lamb, with an introduction by the Rev. Alfred Ainger, M.D. 7 SESAME AND LILIES , by John Ruskin. Three Lectures—I. Of the King's Treasures. II. Of Queen's Garden. III. Of the Mystery of Life. 8 THE ETHICS OF THE DUST , by John Ruskin. Ten lectures to little housewives on the elements of crystalization. 9 THE PLEASURES OF LIFE , by Sir John Lubbock. Complete in one volume. 10 THE SCARLET LETTER , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 11 THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 12 MOSSES FROM AN OLD MANSE , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 13 TWICE TOLD TALES , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 14 THE ESSAYS OF FRANCIS (LORD) BACON WITH MEMOIRS AND NOTES. 15 ESSAYS , First Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 16 ESSAYS , Second Series, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 17 REPRESENTATIVE MEN , by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Mental portraits each representing a class. 1. The Philosopher. 2. The Mystic. 3. The Skeptic. 4. The Poet. 5. The Man of the World. 6. The Writer. 18 THOUGHTS OF THE EMPEROR MARCUS AURELIUS ANTONINUS , translated by George Long. 19 THE DISCOURSES OF EPICTETUS WITH THE ENCHIRIDION , translated by George Long. 20 OF THE IMITATION OF CHRIST , by Thomas À Kempis. Four books complete in one volume. 21 ADDRESSES , by Professor Henry Drummond. The Greatest Thing in the World; Pax Vobiscum; The Changed Life; How to Learn How; Dealing With Doubt; Preparation for Learning: What is a Christian; The Study of the Bible; A Talk on Books. 22 LETTERS, SENTENCES AND MAXIMS , by Lord Chesterfield. Masterpieces of good taste, good writing and good sense. 23 REVERIES OF A BACHELOR. A book of the heart. By Ik Marvel. 24 DREAM LIFE , by Ik Marvel. A companion to "Reveries of a Bachelor." 25 SARTOR RESARTUS , by Thomas Carlyle. 26 HEROES AND HERO WORSHIP , by Thomas Carlyle. 27 UNCLE TOM'S CABIN , by Harriet Beecher Stowe. 28 ESSAYS OF ELIA , by Charles Lamb. 29 MY POINT OF VIEW . Representative selections from the works of Professor Henry Drummond by William Shepard. 30 THE SKETCH BOOK , by Washington Irving. Complete. 31 KEPT FOR THE MASTER'S USE , by Frances Ridley Havergal. 32 LUCILE , by Owen Meredith. 33 LALLA ROOKH , by Thomas Moore. 34 THE LADY OF THE LAKE , by Sir Walter Scott. 35 MARMION , by Sir Walter Scott. 36 THE PRINCESS; AND MAUD , by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 37 CHILDE HAROLD'S PILGRIMAGE , by Lord Byron. 38 IDYLLS OF THE KING , by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 39 EVANGELINE , by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 40 VOICES OF THE NIGHT AND OTHER POEMS , by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 41 THE QUEEN OF THE AIR , by John Ruskin. A study of the Greek myths of cloud and storm. 42 THE BELFRY OF BRUGES AND OTHER POEMS , by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 43 POEMS , Volume I, by John Greenleaf Whittier. 44 POEMS , Volume II, by John Greenleaf Whittier. 45 THE RAVEN; AND OTHER POEMS , by Edgar Allan Poe. 46 THANATOPSIS; AND OTHER POEMS , by William Cullen Bryant. 47 THE LAST LEAF; AND OTHER POEMS , by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 48 THE HEROES OR GREEK FAIRY TALES , by Charles Kingsley. 49 A WONDER BOOK , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 50 UNDINE , by de La Motte Fouque. 51 ADDRESSES , by the Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks. 52 BALZAC'S SHORTER STORIES , by Honore de Balzac. 53 TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST , by Richard H. Dana, Jr. 54 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN . An Autobiography. 55 THE LAST ESSAYS OF ELIA , by Charles Lamb. 56 TOM BROWN'S SCHOOL-DAYS , by Thomas Hughes. 57 WEIRD TALES , by Edgar Allan Poe. 58 THE CROWN OF WILD OLIVE , by John Ruskin. Three lectures on Work, Traffic and War. 59 NATURAL LAW IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD , by Professor Henry Drummond. 60 ABBE CONSTANTIN , by Ludovic Halevy. 61 MANON LESCAUT , by Abbe Prevost. 62 THE ROMANCE OF A POOR YOUNG MAN , by Octave Feuillet. 63 BLACK BEAUTY , by Anna Sewell. 64 CAMILLE , by Alexander Dumas, Jr. 65 THE LIGHT OF ASIA , by Sir Edwin Arnold. 66 THE LAYS OF ANCIENT ROME , by Thomas Babington Macaulay. 67 THE CONFESSIONS OF AN ENGLISH OPIUM-EATER , by Thomas De Quincey. 68 TREASURE ISLAND , by Robert L. Stevenson. 69 CARMEN , by Prosper Merimee. 70 A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY , by Laurence Sterne. 71 THE BLITHEDALE ROMANCE , by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 72 BAB BALLADS, AND SAVOY SONGS , by W.H. Gilbert. 73 FANCHON, THE CRICKET , by George Sand. 74 POEMS , by James Russell Lowell. 75 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S TALK , by the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. 76 JOHN PLOUGHMAN'S PICTURES , by the Rev. Charles H. Spurgeon. 77 THE MANLINESS OF CHRIST , by Thomas Hughes. 78 ADDRESSES TO YOUNG MEN , by the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. 79 THE AUTOCRAT OF THE BREAKFAST TABLE , by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 80 MULVANEY STORIES , by Rudyard Kipling. 81 BALLADS , by Rudyard Kipling. 82 MORNING THOUGHTS , by Frances Ridley Havergal. 83 TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM , by T.S. Arthur. 84 EVENING THOUGHTS , by Frances Ridley Havergal. 85 IN MEMORIAM , by Alfred (Lord) Tennyson. 86 COMING TO CHRIST , by Frances Ridley Havergal. 87 HOUSE OF THE WOLF , by Stanley Weyman. AMERICAN POLITICS (non-Partisan) , by Hon. Thomas V. Cooper. A history of all the Political Parties with their views and records on all important questions. All political platforms from the beginning to date. Great Speeches on Great issues. Parliamentary Practice and tabulated history of chronological events. A library without this work is deficient. 8vo., 750 pages. Cloth, $3.00. Full Sheep Library style, $4.00. 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