“Evolution” of the Sabrina Carpenter incompetence paradox (and coding appendix)

I presume there are men who approach attracting a woman as if it were, or significantly resembles, applying for a job: you meet the requirements and you are competent for this job; otherwise you are not. But then these lines from a song sung by the popular singer Sabrina Carpenter are a paradox: “And I like my men all incompetent.” To be competent for the job of being this person’s man one has to be incompetent. I present a solution which I have presented before - “incompetent” means more fully “incompetent by normal standards” - and also raise the problem of how a society in which Carpenter’s preference is pervasive among women can survive. Won’t competent men leave, jeopardizing the long-term stability of the society? Perhaps the problem can be overcome by some revision: there is a scale of competence and the women there prefer borderline males, maybe just below the line of competence. But I identify two risks: risk of mistakes; risk of take over by a neighbouring society. And I consider how to avoid the second risk at least.