Dying Alone, Dying Lonely, and the Case of Dementia

Many people are evidently worried about the prospect of ‘dying alone.’ But as Shelly Kagan has argued, there does not appear to be any understanding of ‘dying alone’ that would vindicate such worries: Either we do not generally die alone or our dying alone is no particular harm to us. I propose that the commonly expressed worries about ‘dying alone’ are better captured as a worry about dying lonely. Drawing on Roberts & Krueger (2020), I suggesting that dying lonely consists in dying without opportunities to realise oneself in collaboration with others, and in particular, lacking the opportunity to play the ‘dying role’ in concert with others. On this understanding Tolstoy’s Ivan ilych dies lonely, whereas Socrates did not. This understanding of dying lonely also illuminates one aspect of what might be troubling about dying with dementia. The deteriorations in capabilities characteristic of dementia likely mean that many with dementia (unknowingly) die lonely. Surprisingly though, we do not have reason to fear dying lonely whilst demented.